Specificity Matters (or Wanting an Emmy Not an Oscar)

Yesterday, the nominations for the Oscars were announced. I try to wake up and watch them live, but this year I set my DVR and watched them when I woke up. I got me thinking about how I used to want to win an Oscar more than anything in the world.

I first caught the acting bug in elementary school when I played Chair #3 in a version of “Goldilocks and the Three Bears”. After my chair “broke” (I was the too small one), I stayed under a table and was able to watch the audience the rest of the play. From that moment on, I was hooked.

I always said that I wanted to win an Oscar. Even in my senior quote in high school I mentioned it.

But once I moved out to LA and started to seriously pursue acting, I realized that I had the wrong goal.

I wasn’t thinking exactly what an Oscar required growing up. I didn’t grow up around the entertainment industry so I didn’t always have all the information I needed to create the correct goal.

I’ve discovered that I love television more than movies. That’s not to say if I got offered a movie part that I’d turn it down, but if I had to create my dream job I’d want to be on a tv show. And more specifically, a sitcom style, or multi camera, show.

Once I had that specific goal in mind, I could create steps to help me reach that goal. I’m still at the early stages of those steps, but I know that I’m heading in the right direction.

I need to be more specific with other goals I have in my life. I want to lose 100 pounds. I know that. But I haven’t figured out exactly how I want to go about it. Do I want to train for some crazy event and use that as my method? Do I want to have a goal of attending workout classes or working out at home a certain amount of time a week? I’m honestly not sure yet.

I’m going to spend my weekend picking out my specific goal and then working backwards to figure out the steps I need to accomplish that goal. It’s what I am doing for my acting career. And just like in my acting career, I need to be accepting that it will not be a straight line to success. There will be ups and downs, but in the end, progress will be made.

52 Weeks (or What Can I Do in a Year?)

One year from tomorrow will be my brother’s wedding in Kauai.

I’m excited for their wedding. I really like my brother’s fiancé, Krystle. She’s very nice, and she invited me to come up to San Francisco in April for her dress fitting. I’m excited to have her as my sister next year.

Since the wedding is in Kauai, clearly there will be some activities in the water at some point. Water activities involve swimsuits. The last time I wore a swimsuit was in 2006 and I looked like this:

I was about 100 pounds smaller than I am now. I wish I could go back to this time. I thought I was still so heavy, but looking back now, I know better.

So with the wedding one year away, that’s 52 weeks. And people say that a sensible weight loss is about 2 pounds a week. Therefore, it should be possible for me to lose 100 pounds by the wedding.

I’m not saying that this will definitely happen. I’ve tried to do this a million and a half times. I’ve failed most of those times. And the few times I’ve done it, it hasn’t been a sustainable way.

So I’m not trying to focus on losing 100 pounds. That’s too scary and too big. I’m going to try very hard to focus on losing 2 pounds a week.

That’s a very frustrating thing to do. I partially blame that on the crazy diets I’ve done in the past where having a 10 or 15 pound loss in the first week or two isn’t unreasonable. And most weeks I would lose at least 5 pounds a week. I also blame it on shows like “Biggest Loser” where when contestants lose less than 10 pounds a week, they feel like failures.

2 pounds a week doesn’t seem like enough in my head, even though when you add it up over 52 weeks it will be amazing. But I’ve always had trouble focusing on the small victories instead of the big picture.

The one thing I do have going for me right now to jump-start this is the fact that I’m on a soft food diet due to my temporary crown. So I’m living on a lot of yogurt, cooked veggies, and bananas right now. I know that this weight loss won’t be the norm, but at least it might get me motivated.

I don’t want to make this blog a focus on me losing 100 pounds before the wedding, so I probably won’t do a ton of updates of where my progress is. But I just wanted to share this with all of you. Even if I don’t lose 100 pounds, I’d love to have the confidence in a year to wear a swimsuit. Otherwise, I don’t think I’ll be having a lot of fun at the beach.